My awakening

What I will write now, many will not understand and much more will find it hard to believe. But I tell you that the world is much more then the 5 senses. What we see, hear, smell, taste, feel is not the truth. They are just a tool for us to experience the world. There is something much more then this, something much more that we can see with our eyes. This is the realm of Spirituality. And a major event in the path of Spirituality is called awakening. Is the moment you open your heart for the first time and you have a glimpse of reality.
I remember the day when i was doing a on a video call with the person that will later become my teacher. The person who took me in his arms and taken care of me while i was in France. It was the first or second contact I had with him on a video call. We were speaking about Shiva, the God of transformation, the destroyer of ignorance. And he put on his old music player the mantra dedicated to Lord Shiva, Om Namah Shivaya. The moment i heard this words, is the moment when time stop. I told him that something strange is happening with me, i feel very bad, and smiling he put the player louder so i can hear it better. I started to cry without any reason, saying in my mind "what does it mean, what does it mean?". I could not listen to it anymore and i've gone to the bathroom to wash my face and make a shower. In the mirror I started to observe my face and i could not see myself in it. It was somebody else, a face i could never recognise, a bad, demonic face. My entire body started to shake and tears come out of my eyes, i could not even recognise myself, the face i've seen so many times in the mirror was not me. I come back to the computer to ask my friend what is happening and told him about the mirror and he said that this is a method used by the tibetan monks to see their ego. A technique to see your demon inside you. He ask me if i want to listen again the mantra and with full determination I said yes! I felt that I need to hear it.
Listening to it again, my body started to shake so badly and i felt an immense pain in my chest, a pain like I never felt before, a pain so excruciating  that made me fall on my knees. The pain was so powerful that i could not take it anymore and i started screaming and fall flat on my floor, in that state of being paralysed of the pain I started to see flashes of memories that did not belong to this life time. I've seen some of my previews incarnations and who I was, i've seen how i killed people in war and how many times i people killed me also. This trance of pain and flashes lasted for about half of hours, the most painful period of my life i can say. But after this moments of excruciating pain, a Divine peace had rest upon me, a peace so pleasant and so full of love, so calm and so silent. A peace I was always looking for, where i wanted nothing, where i could not find worries or desires. It was like a immense stone was taken off my hearth. I never felt so hollow and empty. In that moments I was for the first time, awake. I never seen the colours, the objects, everything like this. It was like somebody cleaned my glasses.
From that moment i knew what my destiny will be, I knew i must be a Yogi. I trusted that there is something much more to know. Much more then the reality conceived in the mind. Just 3 words, Om Namah Shivaya, but in this 3 words the entire creation rest. What a blessing to hear them again after so much time... Every cell of the body and every thought of the mind was belonging to them. Om the creater of the five elements.
After one week i left everything behind and head towards France, where i meet personally the person who changed the line of my life.
Jai Guru Dev